10 years gone. 10 years loved strong.

As many of you know this past Thursday, September 11, was the anniversary of my brother Shaun's death. It had been ten years, hard to believe I've lived that long without him. One scraggly looking tree took my big brother, that's crap. Especially considering that dumb tree came down a few years later in a storm. The tree took a hit from a Chevette, but not a storm...

Anyway, I'm down here at Bluffton away from everyone who knew my brother, and anyone who'd supported and comforted in past years on this day --or any time I needed a friend to bear my heavy heart with me. I went to bed Wednesday dreading the next morning and rethinking through my memories of Shaun, and reliving the day he died.
Thursday morning arrived way to soon accompanied immediately by loneliness and dread. I dragged myself out of bed so that I could get ready for Chapel. As I got ready I again relived the last day, thinking about how pleasant and trouble free my life had been 10 years ago at this time. Sitting in my third grade class listening to Mrs. Markley and loving life. If only life could be frozen in time to protect my innocent naive look at the world which was about to cave in.
10 minutes before I had to drag myself to chapel my cellphone rang. I answered it to hear the love of God coming from my high school youth pastor Melanie Nofziger. She remembered what the day held for me and my family and called to let me know that she was thinking and praying for me and my family. I was taken aback by how amazing God was, I was debating whether or not to leave my dorm for chapel because I didn't want to face a bunch of happy people who didn't know and therefore wouldn't notice or care. I knew it would come across to me this way even though it isn't true they were all simply unaware. Still, it wouldn't make the day anymore bearable to see them. Then God steps in to remind me that I'm not alone, that people love and care. Melanie's call gave me to boost I needed to leave my dorm and head to Chapel.
On the way back from lunch I opened up to Laurin and she was there for me. She lovingly wanted to share my pain and even asked to hear the story of his death. This was the second time I got to see God's love. Just by listening Laurin helped me feel not alone, she was willing to climb into my sadness and just be.
I called my parents and talked to them for a little bit in the afternoon, it was good to talk to family and support them as they supported me.
I was headed to work feeling alone again when Jamie Hill, a girl from high school, texted me at 5:11 to let me know that she was praying for me. I was amazed that a girl who hadn't seen me in months cared enough to drop a note, another God moment.
That night I was still feeling low so I went into Findley to spend some time with my best friend Nicole. Over a fruitista from Taco Bell we caught up and listened to each other. Just being together again we helped each other... no magical cure of happiness, but just listening to each other and supporting each other helped to tare down the walls of loneliness.

Thank God for never leaving me, and for constantly announcing his love for me all day. Each time I hit the bottom he sent love and comfort through unexpected friends. Thank you to each and every person who remembered. The prayers, calls, and notes are much appreciated and felt.