change?

Looking back a year, I've changed so much.

First it was finishing my Jr year and moving on Camp Luz. Here I re-discovered my faith and God. Devotions everyday, fellowship, loving campers, deep conversations that stirred my theology, and learning how to be me. Everything was amazing, and I loved where I was in life.

Then I headed back from camp and began my senior year of school. That was rough, I've had senioritus since late august, and it has been getting worse and worse since late October. Yeah, honors English last semester taught me a nice work ethic and all that, but this semester is so worthless. I do not need any of the classes I am taking to graduate, if i would have know back at Christmas how much I was going to cringe this semester I probably would have graduated early. I do my best to focus on the tops, you know the amazing Musical, My Favorite Year, and track (the best decisions I've made all year). My view of life has changed I don't really care about much at all. It is not that I am losing faith or doubting God; in fact, he and I have been quite imitate for the past year, it is amazing.

Doc, a good friend of mine who keeps tabs on me just as I keep tabs on her, told me recently that I've changed a lot. It really didn't sink into me then, but now that I look back at who I used to be I guess I have. Wednesday on the way to swing dance lessons Schafer brought up the fact the he and Doc had been talking about me earlier that day and I guess I've changed enough that it is worrying them. My bad, sorry guys, I don't mean to worry you.

I've gone through a lot this school year, stuff doesn't get to me the way it did. I also have a kind of "bring it on" view of life.

This spring too many people around me have passed away, and I learned today that yet another car accident happened around here taking the life of another person I know, he graduated in '05. I quit going to my school's FCA meetings Thursday mornings because it was so spiritually dead and it seemed that nobody cared or wanted to change. Psych class is so frustrating; I really enjoy the stuff I'm learning; however, some things have happened which make it difficult for me to respect the teacher and being in his classroom for 90minutes a day is not a fun way to start out everyday.

I don't want to say farewell to dance

Well, I could be working on my psych or Spanish project, and probably should be, but I don't want to sooooo, that can all wait until later. I am going to enjoy myself for a little bit. : D For the books senioritis is getting the best of me. I am quite looking forward to my last day of school which is now 18 days away. Graduation follows on May 25, yeay!

Yesterday we had a track meet at Patrick Henery against both PH and Liberty Center. The girls took first (boo-ya)! Personally I did pretty well. I took 4th in my open 100 heat (which really isn't much because it was the slower heat) but I did run faster, 15.3, which made me happy, because at the last meet I got my worst 100 time, 16.1 ...boo! Yesterday was also my first time running the open 400 (I've been signed up to run it, but I have had to leave the meets early for various, yet important reasons). I took 1st place in my heat with a time of 74! That made me quite happy, I had only ran 1 400 in a race setting, and that was at a practice a couple of weeks ago, so I did well. Pole Vaulting is fun, but I have not taken it to a meet yet. None of us are ready to compete except Devin who pole vaulted at his old school several years back. He has helped us out a bunch, especially since this is Evergreen's first year pole vaulting and the coaches are newbies too. I also have some glitches that I need to fix, but none of us are quite sure what I am doing wrong. Oh well, it's still fun.

This Friday and Saturday Jessica and I are dancing at Waldren High School in our last dance recital ever. I love to dance and have done acrobatics for the past 14 years of my life, so I have mixed feelings about this recital. Performing on the stage is thrilling and great fun, but once Saturday's show is over who knows when I will dance on a stage again. I am hoping to find a studio in Findley or Lima; however, that is not quite as simple as it sounds. Many studios only have little kid classes, and I am not to hip on the idea of starting ballet over at square one. Not only is my ballet and acrobatics over, but my church dance is done meeting for the year. The other 2 senior girls and I (as well as 2 senior guys who were game to join us dancers) are going to dance May 19 for senior commissioning to the song Pure Flow by SuperChick. I am not completely finished dancing yet; in fact, tonight a swing dance class started at the FCHC rehab center in Wauseon. My buddy Josh Schafer and I have been wanting to go swing dancing since 10th grade and have finally found a place that fits our schedules and wallets! It'll be fun, Josh is like a brother to me and who knows when we will be able to hang out again.

rock music

I finished reading Body Piercing Saved My Life: Inside the Phenomenon of Christian Rock by Andrew Beaujon a few weeks back, yet I haven’t had a chance to write down just a smidgen of my ponderings. The man has some good points about how mediocrity is accepted in the Christian music industry, still he does point out that is has come a long way from its beginnings. In the midst of writing about the countless awful bands he saw and listened too, a few good bands he came across, and numerous interviews he had with bands, labels, and other big wigs, Beaujon opened my eyes to quite a bit. For instance a few years back I read a short note from the editor of CCM in which he was responding to readers questions on why Swtichfoot had not been placed on the cover yet for their new CD. He wrote that the band (or its manager, either way) had kindly asked not to be put on the cover; he then went on to state that he understood and respected their decision not to be put on the cover of a Christian magazine. Me, I didn’t get it, and at the time I remember losing a lot of respect for the band, viewing their decision as one made because they were too greedy or good for the front of a Christian magazine. After reading the book I now can look back and kick myself for being so narrow-minded. Switchfoot, as I am sure you all know, is played on mainstream and Christian markets. The band has great music and lyrics, if they would have agreed to have their picture on the front of the magazine sales on the mainstream market could plummet. People would view the band as a Christian Band solely playing music in order convert its audience, instead of viewing the group as Christians in a band. So what’s the problem? The band isn’t denouncing God and writing songs about pimps and hoes or cussing and hating, they are simply getting their “positive” lyrics and rock music to a larger audience. If you still don’t get it, I can talk to ya later; however, you are entitled to your own opinion.
Maybe to others it will seem that the book only made me more critical and opinionated towards Christian music, and more open to bands that ruffle feathers for not following a norm, but even if that is the case what is the problem? If the band is good, give them a chance. Don’t knock ‘em down for playing on certain venues or not doing something the way so many mediocre bands do, they probably are making a bigger impact on society rocking the way they do.